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On one tape they saw the piano player throwing the paddles overboard at around midnight. Then, during the later shows I figured I’d try letting it all hang out a bit more. Jameson, please report to the front office or make yourself known to a crewmember…” I went back to sleep.

In the middle of my second late show I’d gambled on some material about being Jewish and being married to a black woman. ” Before I knew it, I was reaching for his neck, but JR slid between us and jammed a beer into my hand, miming a helicopter noise while steering me in the opposite direction. Five minutes later: another announcement, then another, and another, all telling her to report to the front office with increasing urgency. A Filipino steward came in and dutifully looked in my bathroom and under my mattress.

Apparently there was a ping-pong table set up next to his piano, and he hated when people played during his set.

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A few days into the trip, JR informed me of the unfortunate fate of a certain Yiddish-singing piano player.

It wasn’t clear whether this had happened on our ship or another one, but it was back to the Catskills for this guy.

” Normally, I would have immediately responded with, “Don’t make me go back to your trailer and kick over that meth lab made of empty Cool Whip containers and failed dreams, you toothless sister-fucker.” Instead I clammed up, as that could have been considered an “inappropriate passenger interaction.” I did not want the helicopter.

As the trip continued, I decided to mine the new world around me for material. The ship was absolutely mammoth – it had to be to accommodate the almost-4,000, many borderline-obese passengers, scooters whizzing by each other like pickup trucks – who consumed everything in their paths, edible and alcoholic.

While I had one foot in the Manhattan clubs as a regular, another was on the pedal doing road gigs.

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